1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize