Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize