What did we do last night that was yellow?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
