I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
