Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
