I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
