I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize