I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
