It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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