Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
