What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
