Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? 😭😭
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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