Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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