Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
