the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I need water and some morals
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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