We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
