Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
