It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
