And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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