the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
