I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When are your genitals available?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
