I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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