Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
please come you make the beer taste better
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
