This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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