Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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