Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
