You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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