I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
