Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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