Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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