His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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