I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
