I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
