His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
