We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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