the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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