i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
