hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
