Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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