i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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