I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
