I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
