She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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