i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
