if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
