my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
