Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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