I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
