I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dick very happy bro
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
