When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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