I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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