He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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