everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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