I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
