Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
