How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
