Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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