He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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