i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize