I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She told me I should be a condom model.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
