mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
