Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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