you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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