I have demons in me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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