i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
