I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize