Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
