After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
