Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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