More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We are all done wearing pants today
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