During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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