Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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