Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
