So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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