i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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