I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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