you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize